


bittersweet reveries

by rudderless in an ocean of stars (indelibly_ellie)



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Cartinelli-centric, F/F, F/M, Forgive Me, Oneshot, Peggy/Sousa endgame, but this happened, i love cartinelli, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 15:14:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9078286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indelibly_ellie/pseuds/rudderless%20in%20an%20ocean%20of%20stars
Summary: Angie-centric fic from the POV of our favorite automat waitress.Cartinelli. Happy endings are not a guarantee. Excerpt:She presses her mouth against the other woman's- once, twice, over and over until she realizes that she enjoys this, this soft molding of mouths and bodies, the sharp dig of polished nails against supple flesh and the taste of a lipstick that is not her own, and finds it vastly superior to anything else she has ever experienced with a man.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to an angst-hole that leads to the deepest level of hell. Apologies in advance.

If Angie Martinelli were to ever find a book on her life, she suspects there would only be two sections, with a single line that lies between them.

 

Before and After, with Peggy Carter serving as the clear divide.

 

Before, she was a good, mostly honest, Catholic girl with dreams of making it onto Broadway. Spunky and chock-full of the kind of attitude her mother had often assured her she'd earn nothing but trouble with, but always managing to stay on just this side of propriety. 

 

Then there was Peggy. Peggy, with her doe eyes and her pretty crimson mouth, had 'trouble' written all over her devilish smile from the moment she'd walked into the automat.

 

And damn if she couldn't resist falling into the same trouble her mother had always warned her about.

 

She presses her mouth against the other woman's- once, twice, over and over until she realizes that she enjoys this, this soft molding of mouths and bodies, the sharp dig of polished nails against supple flesh and the taste of a lipstick that is not her own, and finds it vastly superior to anything else she has ever experienced with a man. 

 

Years later, when she's feeling lonely and lost and horribly  _weak_ , she'll lick her lips and taste the brand of lipstick she'd switched to shortly after Peggy's wedding.

 

She'd noticed, of course- clever as she was- realization gleaming within her dark eyes - and her eyes alone- at the shift in shade.

 

_Peggy tilts her head, dark curls slipping over her shoulder as she scrutinizes the woman in front of her. "New shade?"_

_"Well, I'm pretty sure I've worn it before, English, so 'new' isn't exactly the word I'd use," she sasses back, the corners of her lips quirking upwards in what others might have mistaken for a genuine smile._

_If it hadn't been Peggy on the other side of the counter, she wouldn't have bothered making the effort of coaxing a smile onto her face. Not that it had worked to fool the trained agent anyways._

_Her fingers twitch around the handle of the coffee pot at the sound of a customer calling her name, and she finds herself suppressing a sigh of relief at the summons. She's already moving to turn away from Peggy's piercing gaze when she speaks, her tone uncharacteristically **soft** but no less **firm** \- another paradox to attribute to the enigma of Peggy Carter._

_"It suits you."_

 

Surprisingly enough, she's the one who ends up leaving, in the end.

 

After resolving Thompson's assassination, Peggy had been tapped to head up a new agency alongside Howard Stark back in New York City. Sousa, the newly-minted husband who Angie could never really bring herself to hate, had returned alongside her to the east coast for a quaint wedding. After Peggy's appointment as the head of the budding agency mere days after their nuptials, he had quietly arranged to become one of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s newest agents and just like that, their temporary visit had become a permanent return to the city. 

 

She had to hand it to him- he was a decent fellow. Loyal, dutiful, and brave- the perfect companion to temper Peggy's headstrong recklessness and keep her safe as she ran into whatever web of espionage she'd no doubt manage to dig up now that she'd been been given carte blanche to hunt down the last, writhing vestiges of HYDRA.

 

Peggy doesn't try to stop her. It's the ~~_worst_~~ best gift she could have given under the circumstances. They both know that she would have been helpless against the lure of Peggy's warm, bright eyes had she chosen to ask her to stay.

 

So she leaves.

 

She packs her bags and heads west to the city of angels and tells everyone who asks that she's chosen it for the career opportunities it would afford an aspiring actress. 

 

Maybe if she says it enough, the line between truth and fiction will fade and allow her to _believe_ it.

 

The city embraces her, envelops her in its bubbly champagne warmth and distracts her with the bright lights of the Hollywood sign and the studio cameras until she can almost forget the way Peggy had shone _brighter_.

 

She finds some semblance of solace in her new home- she and the city are more alike than anyone realizes.

 

After all, both of them had been unable to keep Peggy Carter from slipping out of their grasp.

 

On the days when she's feeling particularly sentimental, when she knows there's no way to push the memories away any longer, she'll find her way to the beach. Spread a blanket onto the sand and lose herself in the rhythm of the waves crashing against the shore as she basks in the warmth of the sun.

 

Then- and only then- she'll allow herself to remember, to slip back into the past with the barest of sighs and try her best not to let herself dwell on how disturbingly easy it is to lose herself in the place where her recollections of Peggy Carter have carved out a permanent residence somewhere between her ribs that a beating heart might have once called home.

 

She'll recall the way the fading rays of sunlight fell across the bare skin of Peggy's back as the sun set through her window, press her wrist to her nose and inhale the scent of lilacs and imagine the feel of the other woman's skin against her own, remember the twist of the sheets against her skin as Peggy turned to face her, mischief dancing across her features as she regards her with what feels like the warmth of a thousand spring afternoons condensed into a single, breathtaking stare that holds her captive without even trying.

 

_She reaches out with a single, slender hand and traces Angie's mouth with fingers that come away stained with the red of her trademark lipstick._

 

_Her grin is cheeky as she pulls her in for another kiss, nipping softly at her bottom lip as a chuckle builds low in her throat._

 

_Peggy pulls away with far more grace than Angie thinks is humanly possible, dark curls spilling over her bare shoulder as she narrows her eyes with an exaggerated air of contemplation._

 

_Angie throws her head back and laughs. "What, English? You gonna tell me it's not my color?"_

 

_Something indecipherable flickers across Peggy's face as she tilts her head, allowing the light of the setting sun to turn her dark eyes into pools of golden amber, trapping Angie with her steady, unflinching gaze as surely as a butterfly caught in the same aureate resin._

 

_"It suits you."_

**Author's Note:**

> So... Sorry?
> 
> Leave a review, hug our favorite aspiring actress who totally deserved to be in Season 2.


End file.
